In a world where matches are made with a flick of the thumb, the concept of slow dating feels like a radical act of rebellion. It’s less about speed-dating and more about savoring the richness of connection like a fine wine, or an overpriced oat milk latte you will Instagram. But fear not, for I come bearing the gospel of slow dating, carved not on stone tablets but on the screen of my laptop. Lo and behold, the 20 Commandments of Slow Dating:
1. You Shall Not Swipe Without Intent
The dating app vortex is real, but let’s stop treating it like window shopping at a mall. Every right swipe should come with the thought: Would I actually enjoy spending time with this person?
2. Honor the Art of the Message
“Hey” is not an opening line; it’s a digital shrug. Instead, craft an opener with a dash of wit or charm. Bonus points for referencing their profile. Who doesn’t love a compliment about their dog or quirky hobby?
3. You Shall Not Ghost (Unless Spooked by Red Flags)
The vanishing act may be trendy, but it’s tacky and lame. If you’re not feeling it, muster up the courage for a kind but honest goodbye text. Accountability is sexy.
4. Keep Holy the First Date
A first date is not an interrogation; it’s a vibe check. Keep it light, keep it fun, and please, for the love of Cupid, avoid the ex talk.
5. You Shall Not Multitask on a Date
Put the phone away. Instagram can wait; this is your chance to make a real connection. Also, nothing screams “I’m over this” like scrolling TikTok mid-date.
6. Respect the Natural Pace of Connection
Slow dating means enjoying the journey. Stop treating love like Amazon Prime shipping. Relationships take TIME, emphasis on the TIME.
7. You Shall Vet The Dates (and Yourself)
Before you meet, do a vibe audit. Ask yourself: Do I really like them, or do I just like their ability to use proper grammar in texts? And, do they seem friendly and open or pushy and adamant about certain topics?
8. You Shall Not Idolize the Social Persona
Social media is the filtered facade of life. Don’t fall for their curated charm without digging deeper, there’s always more to the story than perfectly lit selfies.
9. You Shall Be Authentically Yourself
Trying to be the cool, mysterious type? Yawn. Bring your quirks to the table, whether it’s your obsession with reality tv or your inability to parallel park.
10. You Shall Embrace the Awkward Silences
Awkward moments are inevitable. Laugh them off; they’re what memories (and inside jokes) are made of. Use them to smile at your date and take in the moment.
11. You Shall Set Boundaries
Slow dating thrives on mutual respect. If someone texts you at 3 AM for the fourth time in a row, it’s time for a heart-to-heart, or a polite “bye”.
12. You Shall Take a Break When Needed
Burnt out from dating? Take a pause. Romance isn’t a race, and recharging your emotional batteries is crucial to avoid dating disasters.
13. You Shall Not Settle for Red Flags
If they claim they don’t have social media and always disappear during evenings and weekends, run. Standards exist for a reason.
14. You Shall Value Quality Over Quantity
One meaningful connection trumps a dozen meh matches. Slow dating is about depth, not width.
15. You Shall Practice Empathy
They’re nervous? Acknowledge it and try to make them feel more comfortable. Dating is a two-way street, and patience goes a long way.
16. You Shall Not Overplan
An itinerary for a first date? Relax, this isn’t The Amazing Race. Leave room for spontaneity.
17. You Shall Embrace Vulnerability
Slow dating thrives when you let your walls down. Be honest about your intentions and feelings, it’s scary but worth it.
18. You Shall Invest in Small Gestures
A thoughtful text, remembering their favorite coffee order, these little things create big impact. Spoiler alert: effort is attractive.
19. You Shall Cultivate Curiosity
Instead of asking “What do you do?” ask “What do you love?” Genuine interest sparks genuine connection.
20. You Shall Trust the Process
Not every date will be the one, and that’s okay. Each experience shapes your understanding of what you need and want in a partner.
Slow Dating as a Lifestyle
The art of slow dating extends beyond romantic pursuits. It’s about approaching all relationships with intention, curiosity, and care. So, whether you’re texting a new match, reconnecting with an old flame, or simply vibing solo, remember: slow and steady wins the race… or at least lands the second date. Now go and swipe with purpose, and let the commandments guide you toward the dating nirvana you deserve.
